Nourishing the I AM

1 Now on the first day of the week Mary Mag’dalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. 2 So she ran, and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.” 3 Peter then came out with the other disciple, and they went toward the tomb. 4 They both ran, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first; 5 and stooping to look in, he saw the linen cloths lying there, but he did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb; he saw the linen cloths lying, 7 and the napkin, which had been on his head, not lying with the linen cloths but rolled up in a place by itself. 8 Then the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; 9 for as yet they did not know the scripture, that he must rise from the dead. 10 Then the disciples went back to their homes. John 20:1-10 RSV

We know that Christ had to die, but in many of the events surrounding his death choices were made. All through John 18 and 19 we see these choices, especially by Pilate and certainly by the Jews. John kindly points out that when an event occurs without choice “this was to fulfil the word”. With this in mind let’s have a look at the morning-after story when Mary is the first to visit the tomb.

Let’s say that Christ represents the I AM that must die. The Bible also tells us that a seed must die. A thoughtful person knows that a seed carries within it forces for the future. It is formed by a plant, it actually causes the plants death, then it rises again as a totally new plant (not cloned from the old one).

So our I AM is actually a seed. As far as we express it in this life, is contains the forces of our last life. So our I AM is always the seed for the future. This is the very reason why it is so hard to know our own I AM for who can know the forces in a seed? How can we create a picture of that?

Of course, the quality of a seed depends on how it is nourished. In this material world of instant gratification it is not an attractive concept to work on something that is unseen for a reward we cannot fathom.

There are, however, several ways we can grasp the power of this seed that is our I AM and at the same time nourish it. Lets look at three ways which the passage in St John actually demonstrates.

  1. The first way is to seek the hidden connections in life. On the surface an event can seem to be a co-incidence. We must energetically look beneath the surface to see the hidden reasons. Mary and two disciples thought Jesus’ body had been stolen or taken away. It took awhile for them to notice that the clothes lay in the exact way as if a body was still in them. Finally they could see that the body had dissolved or evaporated.
  2. The second way is to get a deep sense of the harm caused by one-sided thoughts. Striving always to find yet another facet to something nourishes our I AM and strengthens our soul. Mary, who often represents the soul, was rushing around distressed about the stone being rolled away instead of standing still and considering with energetic thoughts ALL the possibilities.

On the other hand a materialistic person would perhaps see all these facts as having happened by chance. By not bothering to look beneath the surface they deny themselves the power of their own I AM and their soul remains weak and ineffective.

  1. A third way to enrich this seed and our awareness of it, is to observe the delicate relationships that occur in life. To be in the right place at the right time we say ā€“ but it is not by chance but by karma. There is an advertisement on the TV where a mother describes how her 19 year old son said, “I love you” as he left for work on the day he was killed in an industrial accident. It was not by chance that these particular disciples, the one whom Jesus loved, and Simon Peter went to the tomb. Because of them we have the esoteric teachings today. John, the forerunner of the I AM, who wrote the Gospel and the Apocalypse and Peter the rock, the solid foundation. To get a glimpse of the “co-incidences” in our relationships with others is I AM food.

“Then the disciples when back to their homes”. They took some time out to contemplate these outer events with their thinking. I am sure they didn’t go back to their own homes to critically analyse their own short-comings. It is a deadly thing to seek the I AM within ourselves, we must seek it in the world. If we seek within we will only find the rubbish which we harbour in our souls, the things that cripple us. And often the finding of it gives it greater life. There is a great mystery saying: To find yourself, seek in the world; to find the world, seek in yourself.

No, the disciples would have been taught by Jesus to rigorously use their thinking to create pictures of the events they witnessed, to see the thread of less obvious events where truth is revealed. This forming of mental pictures, which is an activity of the I AM, gives our thinking mobility and life.

In turn, our I AM is strengthened and we are more easily able to see the subtle connections in the world and to gain a deeper understanding of what occurs, in the world and in us. When we find these delicate connections we raise ourselves to that consciousness in which Christ can be experienced. So shall it be.

Kristina Kaine October 2002