Kristina writes a weekly reflection which places the esoteric teachings into daily life. They are thought provoking and pertinent to 21st Century living. They focus on how we can express our I AM, our True Self, more fully in daily situations.

To Journey Back 106

The continuing journey of a deceased person looking back through their life in reverse.

I continue to contemplate the nature of the will in human life. Will, the force that lies behind intentions and actions, is not really understood as I have often said.

One aspect of the will stands before me now because I see myself in my last life talking to some people who are very keen to hear what I have to say. This leads me to consider the way people listen to each other. They either open themselves to receive the words, or close themselves off to the words. Looking at it from my perspective it seems strange because the only way for a true exchange between people is in openness.

This is not simply about keeping an open mind; this is actually about entering into each other. What occurs when such an intimate exchange takes place? The barrier of the physical body is overcome and the soul and spirit of the people involved in the conversation join together. This happens when there is complete trust between people. It can happen in person, or it can even happen when reading the words another person has written. It can also happen between those who live on the earth, and those who are in the spiritual worlds.

This brings us to the realization that there is an aspect of taking in what other people offer that is not always understood. Our instinct is to protect our own ideas and therefore will only receive ideas that do not disturb our own. Human beings, especially while they live on the earth, value their own ideas too highly. I can see why. They have developed these ideas from their own experiences in life and they are proud of their understanding. This, however, prevents them from developing their ideas further. It is like eating a meal, absorbing what is digestible and eliminating everything else. Not only that, but thinking that this one meal will last for weeks or months.

I will admit that taking in new ideas is not straightforward. When searching for ideas to enable us to understand things better, we need to be vigilant for the slightest hint of an idea. It approaches us like a gentle perfume which can be blown away before we have the chance the smell it. If, using our will, we allow a tiny whiff of an idea to enter into us we can come to new understandings. At the same time we should be aware of the inclination to dismiss these ideas because of the effort it takes to bring them into our consciousness. Ideas so easily float away on the breeze, perhaps never to return, unless we grasp even their slightest hint and apply our will to unravelling them.

From my position in the spiritual worlds I can delve into all knowledge. I can go back into the past and swim in the inspiration of the people who lived in ancient times. I can compare this with the wisdom of the people whom I lived with in my most recent life. What stands out for me is the evolution of wisdom. So many people think that wisdom doesn’t change. They read a sacred book and apply its ideas literally to the present. What they don’t realize is that these sacred words are so cleverly written that their wisdom can be applied to all ages. This is the secret, to be able to apply them to the time in which we live, neither dragging ideas from the past into the present, nor trying to bring the future into the present. Things were done differently in the past, as they will be done differently in the future. Tapping into the flow of evolution is the task of every human being on the earth.

To stand in the flow of evolution takes enormous will power. This is not an imposing will wanting things to go our way; this is a gentle will that engages with what is evolving. When this is achieved human beings contribute to the unfolding of evolution, they become creators in the universe.

This brings me to another point. Taking in more than we can understand means that there is something left over for the future. It sits within us like an egg which we keep warm until the time is right for the chick to hatch. I see how many people don’t do this, they discard what they cannot accept or use and it is lost forever.

The purpose of earthly life is to realize that every physical thing that we see and touch is simply a veneer for the spiritual activity beneath it. Not to see this is sin, we miss the mark. If we begin by stretching out our thoughts like feelers, then through our thoughts we spiritually touch the reality of the world. The more we do this the more we accept the errors of our misunderstanding and remain open to all possibilities. One small insight, even if it is not fully understood, will assist us to become the human beings we are destined to become. The whole of creation waits with eager longing for this.

Volume 3 now available on Amazon 

If you are enjoying this new series I would be grateful if you could write a small review on Amazon – it helps to bring this book to the attention of more readers.

Listen to some old Podcasts on The Revelation

To Journey Back 107

From my perspective I see how difficult relationships can be on the earth and as time goes on relationships can intensify. Why is this? Most communities are formed by people who have been together lifetime after lifetime. Relationship dynamics can be very complicated; I experienced this myself in many lives, but especially in my last life. I was fortunate enough to have developed the ability to be objective, to see beyond the immediate interaction, and place events in the scheme of evolution. This requires great spiritual insight, something every human being on the earth must develop.

Eons ago all human actions were inspired by the Gods who directed human beings to carry out their instructions. Gradually, human beings developed the ability to direct their own actions and in this way free themselves from the cosmic guidance. This developed steadily over time as we lived in tribes lead by tribal elders before we entered the stage of the individual personality. We could compare this with weaning a baby off its mother’s milk.

In many ways my friends and I were a tribe, they looked to me as their elder. They also looked to me for sustenance as I spoke with them about spiritual truths. Now that I had departed they had to replicate our relationship, but now from within themselves as individuals.

This led me to think about the detail of this process. If you like living in a tribe and divesting yourself of the responsibility of making personal decisions in life, how do you free yourself from that? Or, on the other hand, if you like leading others, how do you give them freedom to make their own choices?

Again I tap into the vista of human evolution and see how people cling to the past, lacking the courage to embrace what approaches them out of the future. What has to happen for them to embrace the future? Do they have to hate the past and all their close relationships before they can step forward as an individual? Possibly!

It takes great strength to see the true spiritual nature of life – both on the earth and in the heavens. We are so quick to judge the motives of others when in fact their negative actions could be leading them to a very positive place. Focusing our view on a pinpoint can mean feeling the pain of a pinprick. Unless we develop a broader view we will never be able to plan for a secure future.

If this attitude can be maintained throughout one’s life on the earth, life in the spiritual worlds after death will be richly rewarding. The way forward is always step by step. While living on the earth we only have memories, we can’t go back to a past event and experience it as we did when it happened, neither can we move into the future and experience what is happening in real time. If we could do this we would gods.

What we can do is try to tune into the signs that come to us semi-consciously and use our individual gifts to unfold the future on the foundation of the past. This requires astute observation, not an illusory spiritual vision. It is like building a high tower, shoring up the foundation to support the lookout at the top. The only way to do this is by testing the foundation of our spiritual understanding repeatedly.

We don’t know which ideas are formed directly from the current incarnation, and which ideas are influenced by the many past lives we have lived. Our relationships with those in our community, who have been with us in previous lives, bring out the characteristics of our personality. It is up to us to become aware of this; it is our task in life. We must have the strength to dissolve our antipathy, and even our sympathy – all our biases – and base our responses to people in our lives with a broader view founded on a past and a future which only becomes clear the more we work on ourselves.

What becomes very clear to me at this point is the need to remain open. This requires great trust, firstly in our own selves, but at the same time, in the wisdom of the universe. The more we come to understand that we have an important role to play in evolution, the greater our contribution. Human beings are not puppets of destiny; they are actors on the stage of destiny, writing their own script by their thoughts and actions.

When this is truly understood, nothing is more important than understanding the foundation of this universe. Every breath is taken for the express purpose of discovering the truth behind every manifestation of spirit around us. Each thing we see, or touch, or smell, or eat, or rest on … is designed by beings in a universe dedicated to leading us forward. Why would we look back! Surely we can leave the past behind, while bringing the gifts from the past into the present to be the best we can be for the future. It is like eating the fruits of the harvest to nourish us for next phase.

If you would like a free copy of my book I Connecting click here for instructions 

Podcasts :

My first book is always free in most market places (but check the price before downloading)

I AM The Soul's Heartbeat: The Seven I AM Sayings in The Gospel of St John by [Kaine, Kristina]


“Kristina Kaine has distilled from the profound wisdom of masters and of her own considerable experience a guidebook of immense value in pursuing the pearl of great price, the name that no one knows except the one who receives it, the “I Am.” Every human soul stands in need of this name, and our world cries out for the ennoblement of those who make this quest. —Ed Smith, Author : The Burning Bush, The Soul’s Long Journey, David’s Question “What is Man?” Bible and Anthroposophy

Purchase these Reflection series now published in ebooks or paperbacks available from Amazon

IF YOU HAVE AN IPAD, IPHONE OR KINDLE YOU CAN READ THESE REFLECTIONS ANYWHERE. You can even download to your PC or MAC Kindle for PC or Kindle for Cloud Reader

Reflections on the Seven I AM sayings in the Gospel of St John January – September 2003

IAM1-001 I AM the Good Shepherd 5 – 24 June 2003

For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life, that I may take it again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again; this charge I have received from my Father.” John 10:17f

These words speak about the ultimate sacrifice. To sacrifice our life … and to be able to sacrifice requires that you actually have something to sacrifice. This sacrifice is not that of a soldier fighting for his country, or a quasi-martyr suicide bomber. This is the shepherd giving his life for his sheep. This is about the gentle and good shepherd and the pure and innocent sheep.


John 20, Food for the I AM 1 Now on the first day of the week Mary Mag’dalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. 2 So she ran, and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.” 3 Peter then came out with the other disciple, and they went toward the tomb. 4 They both ran, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first; 5 and stooping to look in, he saw the linen cloths lying there, but he did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb; he saw the linen cloths lying, 7 and the napkin, which had been on his head, not lying with the linen cloths but rolled up in a place by itself. 8 Then the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; 9 for as yet they did not know the scripture, that he must rise from the dead. 10 Then the disciples went back to their homes. John 20:1-10 RSV

We know that Christ had to die, but in many of the events surrounding his death choices were made. All through John 18 and 19 we see these choices, especially by Pilate and certainly by the Jews. When an event occurs without choice John writes “this was to fulfil the word”. With this in mind let’s have a look at the morning-after story when Mary and the two disciples visit the tomb. They make many choices.

Let’s say that Christ represents the I AM that must die. The Bible also tells us that a seed must die. A thoughtful person knows that a seed carries within it forces for the future. It is formed by a plant, it actually causes the plant’s death, then it rises again as a totally new plant (not cloned from the old one).


FREE on Amazon – but check for $0 before downloading in some countries.

Free on Smashwords

Reflections of the Seven Christian Initiations in the Gospel of St John, September 2003 – May 2004

IAM2-001 The Mystical Death 2 – 9 May 2004 – We die to live

Read John 19:23- 42 After this Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfil the scripture), “I thirst.” A bowl full of vinegar stood there; so they put a sponge full of the vinegar on hyssop and held it to his mouth. When Jesus had received the vinegar, he said, “It is finished”; and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. 19:28-30

When a person or a thing dies we are told that it no longer exists except as ashes or refuse. Close scrutiny reveals that the opposite is true.

Consider this text in John 12 And Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of man to be glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. John 12:23-24


Buy on Amazon

Reflections on the Eightfold Path of Buddha in the Gospel of St John, June 2004 – December 2004


Read John 5:22-30 The Father judges no one, but has given all judgment to the Son, that all may honor the Son, even as they honor the Father. He who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him. Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears my word and believes him who sent me, has eternal life; he does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. John 5:22-24

As the Father is about the will, the Son is about thinking. Judging is no longer cosmically impelled; our judging now arises through our personal thinking. This thinking must be rigorous. A reason for errors of judgement is that thinking is not carried through to the end. It is so easy to jump off the train of thought prematurely. Early conclusions are so tempting, not to mention the time that they save. Lucifer always encourages us to take the easy way out.


Buy on Amazon

Reflections on the Twelve Disciples using the Gospel of St John, January – December 2005


Nathanael – Two – Imagining

Philip found Nathan’a-el, and said to him, “We have found him of whom Moses in the law and also the prophets wrote, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.” Nathan’a-el said to him, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Philip said to him, “Come and see.” Jesus saw Nathan’a-el coming to him, and said of him, “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile!” Nathan’a-el said to him, “How do you know me?” Jesus answered him, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.” Nathan’a-el answered him, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!” Jesus answered him, “Because I said to you, I saw you under the fig tree, do you believe? You shall see greater things than these.” And he said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of man.” John 1:45-51

Nathanael represents one of the most misunderstood human abilities, our Imagination. In reality, Imagination extends our consciousness into another dimension. It is a spiritual faculty which does not rely on our physical brain nor does it have a mystical element. Through it we penetrate the veil which separates the physical and spiritual worlds. At this point our abstract thinking dissolves and we see into outer forms to the spiritual truth that sustains them. This can begin simply by looking at a plant or tree that droops towards the ground in a sad way, or a flower that lifts its head to smile at the sun. This imagining connects us in new ways with the outer world.


Buy on Amazon

Reflections on the Signs in the Gospel of St John, January – July 2006

Water to Wine – One – Changing Feeling into Thinking


On the third day there was a marriage at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; Jesus also was invited to the marriage, with his disciples. When the wine failed, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “O woman, what have you to do with me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” Now six stone jars were standing there, for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to them, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. He said to them, “Now draw some out, and take it to the steward of the feast.” So they took it. When the steward of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, “Every man serves the good wine first; and when men have drunk freely, then the poor wine; but you have kept the good wine until now.” This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory; and his disciples believed in him. John 2:1-11

This series of Reflections will explore the so called signs in the Gospel of St John. These signs are also associated with miracles performed by Jesus after he was baptised by John the Baptist. If we take the life of Jesus as a blue print for our own spiritual development, we can use events such as these signs and miracles as a barometer of our progress.


Buy on Amazon

Reflections on the Nine Beatitudes using the Gospel of St John, August 2006 – March 2007


1.4 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

We can look at each of the nine beatitudes in terms of the Christ-ening of the nine parts of our being; physical, etheric, astral and then the three soul and three spiritual regions. If we apply the first beatitude to our physical body we will find clues about how our I AM is enlivened in our body.

Our physical body is the most fully developed part of us. The physiology of the human being is a marvel. The way our skeleton, muscles and skin hold and protect our organs in a life giving way is truly wondrous.


Buy on Amazon

Reflections on the Book of Revelation, April 2007 – April 2010

SoulSecretPOD-001The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show to his servants what must soon take place; and he made it known by sending his angel to his servant John, who bore witness to the word of God and to the testimony of Jesus Christ, even to all that he saw. Blessed is he who reads aloud the words of the prophecy, and blessed are those who hear, and who keep what is written therein; for the time is near. Rev 1:1-3

We can read and contemplate the bible in many ways. We should certainly take notice of the literal meaning of its stories. This becomes a most difficult task when we read the Revelation to John. The imagery is shocking, mystifying and bizarre, especially when we place it outside ourselves. It more closely resembles our dream life rather than our waking life.


Buy on Amazon. Note: Kindle version is in two volumes. Paperback one volume.

Reflections on Who is Jesus, What is Christ? May 2010 – October 2016


The Bible can only be fully understood when we have a detailed knowledge of the makeup of the human being. We can only have this understanding through our own personal experience of ourselves which we have applied and tested in our own lives throughout the day. When we are able to experience that we are beings of body, soul and spirit we then come to the point of experiencing ourselves as beings of soul and spirit which occupy our body much like we would occupy a car to transport us here and there.

If we can grasp this truth and actually have a personal experience of it, we can then approach the possibility of our soul and spirit entering repeatedly into different bodies at different times in history. This could be compared to upgrading the model of our car from time to time. There is a passage in the Bible that could support this idea of reincarnation. When the Jews heard that John the Baptist was baptising they sent their representatives to question him about who he was; Christ, Elijah, or the prophet?

And this is the testimony of John, when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, “Who are you?” He confessed, he did not deny, but confessed, “I am not the Christ.” And they asked him, “What then? Are you Elijah?” He said, “I am not.” “Are you the prophet?” And he answered, “No.” They said to him then, “Who are you? Let us have an answer for those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?” Jn 1:19-22

Why would they choose Elijah from all the possibilities? Furthermore, they knew that Elijah was long dead? It is possible that they recognised traits of Elijah’s in the Baptist or perhaps they had the spiritual vision to see who had been in the past. So if he was Elijah in a past life why didn’t he affirm this? To answer this question fully we need to consider in some detail how and why we enter into different bodies at different times throughout history.


Published in 5 volumes, available on Amazon as ebooks or paperbacks. Buy on Amazon

To Journey Back November 2016 ongoing

This is the story about a man who has just died. In the afterlife he is tracing the life he has just lived backwards. It is a life review, step by step, from the moment of the last breath back to the moment of the first breath, to re-experience every thought, feeling, and action and interaction he had through his life.

He remains connected with his close friends and, as he sees what they are doing in the days after his death, he understands more deeply the relationship he had with them. He also sees all the activity surrounding his death, which he was not aware of when he was alive.
More and more people who have had a near death experience are reporting that this is the experience we all have when we die. At some point in their after-life experience they decided to come back and continue living their current life. We have much to learn from them, not only for when we die, but for how we can live our lives on this earth more meaningfully.

If we can have a real experience of what happens when we die it will assist us to meet the end of our own life with more awareness. Our journey forward will then be a great contribution to human evolution. I hope you enjoy this journey.

Published in small volumes, available on Amazon as ebooks or paperbacks. Buy on Amazon