Kristina writes a weekly reflection which places the esoteric teachings into daily life. They are thought provoking and pertinent to 21st Century living. They focus on how we can express our I AM, our True Self, more fully in daily situations.

To Journey Back 89

As I stand in the spiritual realms surveying human life in all its aspects I see how little human beings understand their true nature and purpose. On earth, the quest to feel important obscures many things. Most of all it obscures the importance of being human and respecting every human being equally, regardless of their standing in life.

To understand this we need only look at young children who happily play with all the other children regardless of gender, race, color, or creed. Their openness and acceptance gives us an idea of what it means to fully respect each other.

At the heart of this matter is the lack of understanding that we live repeated lives on the earth. In these past lives we have lived in all the various races, participated in many different cultures and belief systems, and have as many lives as males as we do as females. If this could be understood surely discrimination would be redundant.

Furthermore, we would see our life, not just as an event between birth and death, but also as a continuous life alternating between a spiritual being in the spiritual realms and a physical being living on the earth. What will it take, I wondered, for human beings to come to this realization.

As I paused on this thought a child stood before me and a silent conversation began. This child had only lived a short life on the earth and returned to the spiritual world with what could be described as unspent forces. These forces, which would have carried it through a lifetime, we call the life-force; it is the etheric force similar to that which we see in the plant kingdom.

Because this child died at such a young age, it was not affected by the forces of resistance on the earth, the forces which work against human beings and influence them in negative ways – forces which are also responsible for obscuring awareness of past lives. These forces are also referred to as evil. Therefore the life-force this child brings into the spiritual realms is enlivening, and because it is no longer contained in a physical body, these forces ray out everywhere like sunshine. The purity of this child reminded me of the angels.

It soon becomes clear to me that this child represents the answer to my question about what it would take for human beings to realize the truth about human life. The answer is to be found in the purity that lies within every human being. The thing is that we only see the light in contrast with darkness. This means that in the darkness of the human body we must search for the light and find there the pure child forces that will show us the truth. Like the seed that resurrects the plant in the next season we will see that each life on earth creates the seed for the next one. How differently will we live our lives if we understand that every thought, feeling, and deed creates the future? Every time we meet resistance with awareness and determination we are creating a strong seed which will produce an even more vibrant plant with more abundant fruit.

I realize that this is a lot to ask of people who are meeting day to day challenges. They can’t think about what consequences their actions will have next week let alone next lifetime. Still, even a hint of the idea that their responses to every situation can have a positive effect at some future time is a good start.

I turn my attention again to the child and instead of the child I now see a strong and beautiful plant at the center of which is a vibrant seed pulsing like a heart.

I pause to reflect on this beautiful image. I see the potential for humanity to find their inner child, those untainted forces, soft and green, energetic and strong, that will lead to discovering the truth about reincarnation. If they are not nurtured, then, like any plant, they will become dry and wooden unable to bear fruit.

In fact, it is not just the notion of repeated lives that should come to mind but the awareness of the etheric forces all around us on the earth. The earth’s etheric is like an airy, water filled garment from which all things receive life, and without which all things, including this earth, will die.

If we want to understand this force we will find it in our children and from there recognize it in ourselves. We will see that as we grew older we hid these forces deep within us; they were not regarded as valuable to life on earth as we matured. Not that we should become childish, but that we should find ways to express the purity of this life-force as we grow older. This enhances our capacity to remember, not just the events of this life, but all previous lives. It also reveals how our response to the events in the current life creates our future lives on the earth. In this way we could say that we enter the spiritual worlds while we still live on the earth. We straddle these two different conditions thoughtfully, maturely, and with the purity and simplicity of a child.

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I AM The Soul's Heartbeat: The Seven I AM Sayings in The Gospel of St John by [Kaine, Kristina]

To Journey Back 90

The continuing journey of a deceased person looking back through their life in reverse.

Apart from awakening the innocent child forces within us while we live on the earth, it is also important to pay attention to the feminine and masculine forces within us. These two aspects are not differentiated when we live in the spiritual worlds. Only when we incarnate into a physical body do we occupy one or the other and identify as male or female. We also alternate between these two expressions throughout all our incarnations.

We might ask ourselves why this is. Why would we be female in one life and male in another life? We may even wonder if this was always the case, and if it will continue forever. As I considered these questions I realized that not many people thought about this during their lives on the earth, yet it was such an important issue. It was the reason behind marriage and producing children – two things that did not happen after earthly life. It became clear to me that these were very important considerations for those who wish to understand the truth about human life.

I could see that there was a time when human beings were not divided into male or female, a time when these aspects were equally within each person. Then we were more connected as a group, or rather, not as differentiated as individuals. The plan was for human beings to become individuated and independent. To achieve this, a process was set in place which began with separating human beings into male or female expressions.

Another question arises in me. Why would we need to become more individuated? In an instant a powerful force caught my attention. It rose up above me and at the same time enveloped me. It felt very familiar – it was part of me, but also separate from me which felt quite odd. As I tried to take it in, a feeling of great awe swept through me. This was me, and at the same time it was so much bigger than me. It knew me intimately; every thought, feeling, and deed I had ever known was written in it. This was my Higher Self.

I had been aware of it throughout my life on earth, especially when it raised me up to a higher perspective. But I had never, to my knowledge, experienced it in the way I was experiencing it now. There was a sense of eternity about it which distracted me from being aware in the moment. I can see that this would be a reason for our lack of awareness of it, not only during our earthly lives but also when we were in the spiritual worlds. We needed to be able to focus on the moment so that we developed the strength required to have an elevated consciousness.

A feeling of gratitude swept through me now as I realized I was capable of being aware of my greater being. One of the first things I noticed was that this being was neither male nor female; it was a combination of all the male and female characteristics. It could call up whichever aspect was required in a given situation. This was in contrast to a single human life when one aspect was dominant.

What wasn’t clear to human beings was the fact that as a male, for instance, they actually had feminine cycles throughout their lives. These cycles change around every seven years. Therefore, while living as a male, at times they could be more feminine, receptive, softer, more emotional and so on. I also saw that in the future there would be less delineation between the male and female expressions. Human beings were moving back to the state of uniting male and female within them giving them the ability to use, at will, the aspect that suited the situation.

I could see how much more thought was needed to understand the male and female experience. Some people clung onto one or other as if to perpetuate the state of being separated into male and female. When this happened, males became too deeply incarnated, too embedded in the earth and too expressive. Females tended not to incarnate deeply enough making them more passive. As always, it is a case of striking the balance.

At this stage of evolution, human beings needed to develop a rhythmic breathing process of feminine and masculine characteristics. The feminine, as receptive and passive, receives into her – meets in union with – the expressive masculine force. These two then work together directed by the Higher Self.

As I contemplated this I felt great respect for the human being who stood at the pinnacle of evolution. As beings able to balance both aspects within themselves they formed a new community built on great respect for each other. There would no longer a battle between two sides with one trying to display superiority over the other. Now human beings could experience a higher love that rose above the need to experience this union physically because it happened within them continually.

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“Kristina Kaine has distilled from the profound wisdom of masters and of her own considerable experience a guidebook of immense value in pursuing the pearl of great price, the name that no one knows except the one who receives it, the “I Am.” Every human soul stands in need of this name, and our world cries out for the ennoblement of those who make this quest. —Ed Smith, Author : The Burning Bush, The Soul’s Long Journey, David’s Question “What is Man?” Bible and Anthroposophy

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Reflections on the Seven I AM sayings in the Gospel of St John January – September 2003

IAM1-001 I AM the Good Shepherd 5 – 24 June 2003

For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life, that I may take it again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again; this charge I have received from my Father.” John 10:17f

These words speak about the ultimate sacrifice. To sacrifice our life … and to be able to sacrifice requires that you actually have something to sacrifice. This sacrifice is not that of a soldier fighting for his country, or a quasi-martyr suicide bomber. This is the shepherd giving his life for his sheep. This is about the gentle and good shepherd and the pure and innocent sheep.


John 20, Food for the I AM 1 Now on the first day of the week Mary Mag’dalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. 2 So she ran, and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.” 3 Peter then came out with the other disciple, and they went toward the tomb. 4 They both ran, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first; 5 and stooping to look in, he saw the linen cloths lying there, but he did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb; he saw the linen cloths lying, 7 and the napkin, which had been on his head, not lying with the linen cloths but rolled up in a place by itself. 8 Then the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; 9 for as yet they did not know the scripture, that he must rise from the dead. 10 Then the disciples went back to their homes. John 20:1-10 RSV

We know that Christ had to die, but in many of the events surrounding his death choices were made. All through John 18 and 19 we see these choices, especially by Pilate and certainly by the Jews. When an event occurs without choice John writes “this was to fulfil the word”. With this in mind let’s have a look at the morning-after story when Mary and the two disciples visit the tomb. They make many choices.

Let’s say that Christ represents the I AM that must die. The Bible also tells us that a seed must die. A thoughtful person knows that a seed carries within it forces for the future. It is formed by a plant, it actually causes the plant’s death, then it rises again as a totally new plant (not cloned from the old one).


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Reflections of the Seven Christian Initiations in the Gospel of St John, September 2003 – May 2004

IAM2-001 The Mystical Death 2 – 9 May 2004 – We die to live

Read John 19:23- 42 After this Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfil the scripture), “I thirst.” A bowl full of vinegar stood there; so they put a sponge full of the vinegar on hyssop and held it to his mouth. When Jesus had received the vinegar, he said, “It is finished”; and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. 19:28-30

When a person or a thing dies we are told that it no longer exists except as ashes or refuse. Close scrutiny reveals that the opposite is true.

Consider this text in John 12 And Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of man to be glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. John 12:23-24


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Reflections on the Eightfold Path of Buddha in the Gospel of St John, June 2004 – December 2004


Read John 5:22-30 The Father judges no one, but has given all judgment to the Son, that all may honor the Son, even as they honor the Father. He who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him. Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears my word and believes him who sent me, has eternal life; he does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. John 5:22-24

As the Father is about the will, the Son is about thinking. Judging is no longer cosmically impelled; our judging now arises through our personal thinking. This thinking must be rigorous. A reason for errors of judgement is that thinking is not carried through to the end. It is so easy to jump off the train of thought prematurely. Early conclusions are so tempting, not to mention the time that they save. Lucifer always encourages us to take the easy way out.


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Reflections on the Twelve Disciples using the Gospel of St John, January – December 2005


Nathanael – Two – Imagining

Philip found Nathan’a-el, and said to him, “We have found him of whom Moses in the law and also the prophets wrote, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.” Nathan’a-el said to him, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Philip said to him, “Come and see.” Jesus saw Nathan’a-el coming to him, and said of him, “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile!” Nathan’a-el said to him, “How do you know me?” Jesus answered him, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.” Nathan’a-el answered him, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!” Jesus answered him, “Because I said to you, I saw you under the fig tree, do you believe? You shall see greater things than these.” And he said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of man.” John 1:45-51

Nathanael represents one of the most misunderstood human abilities, our Imagination. In reality, Imagination extends our consciousness into another dimension. It is a spiritual faculty which does not rely on our physical brain nor does it have a mystical element. Through it we penetrate the veil which separates the physical and spiritual worlds. At this point our abstract thinking dissolves and we see into outer forms to the spiritual truth that sustains them. This can begin simply by looking at a plant or tree that droops towards the ground in a sad way, or a flower that lifts its head to smile at the sun. This imagining connects us in new ways with the outer world.


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Reflections on the Signs in the Gospel of St John, January – July 2006

Water to Wine – One – Changing Feeling into Thinking


On the third day there was a marriage at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; Jesus also was invited to the marriage, with his disciples. When the wine failed, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “O woman, what have you to do with me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” Now six stone jars were standing there, for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to them, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. He said to them, “Now draw some out, and take it to the steward of the feast.” So they took it. When the steward of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, “Every man serves the good wine first; and when men have drunk freely, then the poor wine; but you have kept the good wine until now.” This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory; and his disciples believed in him. John 2:1-11

This series of Reflections will explore the so called signs in the Gospel of St John. These signs are also associated with miracles performed by Jesus after he was baptised by John the Baptist. If we take the life of Jesus as a blue print for our own spiritual development, we can use events such as these signs and miracles as a barometer of our progress.


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Reflections on the Nine Beatitudes using the Gospel of St John, August 2006 – March 2007


1.4 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

We can look at each of the nine beatitudes in terms of the Christ-ening of the nine parts of our being; physical, etheric, astral and then the three soul and three spiritual regions. If we apply the first beatitude to our physical body we will find clues about how our I AM is enlivened in our body.

Our physical body is the most fully developed part of us. The physiology of the human being is a marvel. The way our skeleton, muscles and skin hold and protect our organs in a life giving way is truly wondrous.


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Reflections on the Book of Revelation, April 2007 – April 2010

SoulSecretPOD-001The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show to his servants what must soon take place; and he made it known by sending his angel to his servant John, who bore witness to the word of God and to the testimony of Jesus Christ, even to all that he saw. Blessed is he who reads aloud the words of the prophecy, and blessed are those who hear, and who keep what is written therein; for the time is near. Rev 1:1-3

We can read and contemplate the bible in many ways. We should certainly take notice of the literal meaning of its stories. This becomes a most difficult task when we read the Revelation to John. The imagery is shocking, mystifying and bizarre, especially when we place it outside ourselves. It more closely resembles our dream life rather than our waking life.


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Reflections on Who is Jesus, What is Christ? May 2010 – October 2016


The Bible can only be fully understood when we have a detailed knowledge of the makeup of the human being. We can only have this understanding through our own personal experience of ourselves which we have applied and tested in our own lives throughout the day. When we are able to experience that we are beings of body, soul and spirit we then come to the point of experiencing ourselves as beings of soul and spirit which occupy our body much like we would occupy a car to transport us here and there.

If we can grasp this truth and actually have a personal experience of it, we can then approach the possibility of our soul and spirit entering repeatedly into different bodies at different times in history. This could be compared to upgrading the model of our car from time to time. There is a passage in the Bible that could support this idea of reincarnation. When the Jews heard that John the Baptist was baptising they sent their representatives to question him about who he was; Christ, Elijah, or the prophet?

And this is the testimony of John, when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, “Who are you?” He confessed, he did not deny, but confessed, “I am not the Christ.” And they asked him, “What then? Are you Elijah?” He said, “I am not.” “Are you the prophet?” And he answered, “No.” They said to him then, “Who are you? Let us have an answer for those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?” Jn 1:19-22

Why would they choose Elijah from all the possibilities? Furthermore, they knew that Elijah was long dead? It is possible that they recognised traits of Elijah’s in the Baptist or perhaps they had the spiritual vision to see who had been in the past. So if he was Elijah in a past life why didn’t he affirm this? To answer this question fully we need to consider in some detail how and why we enter into different bodies at different times throughout history.


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