Kristina writes a weekly reflection which places the esoteric teachings into daily life. They are thought provoking and pertinent to 21st Century living. They focus on how we can express our I AM, our True Self, more fully in daily situations.

To Journey Back 96

The continuing journey of a deceased person looking back through their life in reverse.

Life on the earth is a progressive evolution; nothing remains the same from one day to the next. From my perspective in the spiritual world I can look back over time in an instant and see how much things have changed. Each life lived on the earth is like the blink of an eye. It is the task of every human being on the earth to realize this in whatever way they can because only then will they understand the history that precedes them, but more importantly, how they are creating the future.

As I look into the present age I see an awakening in some people bringing with it its own challenges. Seeing reality takes patience and strength. As we become more aware, the first thing we see is the extent to which many people are asleep, as if they are bound and gagged and dwell in a dark cave. It is very painful to see fellow human beings in this condition; just thinking about it now fills me with a disturbing sadness, but also with anger. What will it take for people to realize that they are, for the most part, dead?

People are so afraid of dying yet life on earth, when bound to the purely physical aspects, is death. To be totally unaware of spirit and not see that everything physical is simply covering the spiritual reality of the earth, is like throwing a veil over everything. What lies under the veil remains; to see only the veil is a death. What is desperately needed is to come to the understanding that nothing dies but rather changes or evolves. This is the present task; it is like breaking out of the egg. This will not be without problems and awareness of these problems is necessary. Those who do it first will feel very lonely, like a newly hatched chick not being able to find its mother.

As I have said before, it is not a matter of telling others about spiritual reality, it is about expressing it in one’s own life and hoping that others will see the difference and search for it themselves. It is important to constrain the impulse to tell others what is right and wrong. We have to trust that people will see the light of our own evolving consciousness and look for ways to shine that light in their own lives – and in their own way.

I had to trust in that during my life on the earth with my friends – and it worked to an extent. Although, now I see that often, rather than generating their own light, my friends used my light. Now that I have physically departed I see that they are struggling. I will remain ever hopeful that they will discover how to create their own light. What isn’t understood is that we can’t be together again until they generate their own light. We each have the freedom to do this – this is what freedom is all about. Freedom is not about being free to do whatever we want; freedom is realizing that we free to do the work that will free us.

I see how many people weep and wail about their circumstances in life. Of course, this is understandable when family members die, especially in tragic circumstances, but often their wailing emerges from a lack of understanding. Life’s event will take their course. Some people need to die in a certain way, at a certain time. Others need to suffer illness to give them the opportunity of calling up the life-forces within them in a different way. Rather than placing blame, we are called to see the opportunity that opens up in such situations. These events may take place so that in some future life particular circumstances will exist for the progress of evolution. If every person could see the enormous contribution they make to the wise guidance of the universe they would be much more accepting of the events in their lives.

To tap into the deep need to contribute is one way of reaching an understanding of life’s purpose. Unfortunately, many people are motivated to contribute for the recognition it brings. True contribution cares not about the outcome of the contribution; the important thing is to work out how to contribute. It is like identifying the inner rhythm when we are making a difference, and retuning to that rhythm each time we have the opportunity to contribute. This is when we hear the greater cosmic rhythm and resonate with it.

We cannot hope for miracles to solve the problems we face as evolution moves forward. The more we look for miracles, the longer the problems will exist. We need to see the role we play in the greater scheme of things, we need to recognize the importance of our contribution, and look for ways to work together with others to bring about the conditions that will make a difference. We may not be able to see it fully but we can create ideas about it in our minds to guide our daily actions. Every single person can make an important difference as they weave into the fabric of the universe this love for purpose.

Volume 3 now available on Amazon 

If you are enjoying this new series I would be grateful if you could write a small review on Amazon – it helps to bring this book to the attention of more readers.

Listen to some old Podcasts on The Revelation – new, better quality ones coming soon.

To Journey Back 97

My continued contemplation of the difference between life on the earth, and spiritual life confirms that this is something every human being should do while still living on the earth. Life on earth is not ‘the’ life; in fact it is actually a kind of death. When we are born on the earth we die to the spiritual worlds. Our awareness of all that we are throughout evolution dies. We have to live our life on the earth only aware of the time between our birth and our impending death.

There are other aspects to consider. After we die, spiritual life can be viewed in two ways, our state of existence both after we die as well as before we are born. We can compare these two states by thinking of the difference between an old person dying and a baby being born. However, that is not the way it always is, many people do not grow old, I didn’t, I died in my thirties.

Unless we form strong imaginations of these states of being we will not be able to fully grasp them when they happen to us or those around us. Why does it matter if a person dies in the middle of their earthly life rather than at the end of a long life? Why does it matter if a person dies suddenly or after a long illness? We can only have answers to these questions if we are able to consider life in all its aspects, both on the earth and in the spiritual worlds. Without this understanding we can have many misunderstandings about life and death, especially when someone close to us dies.

The difficulty of dealing with the death of a loved one stems from the huge change in our lives. The conversations we had cease, the activities we enjoyed together stop, the way we think about the other person, especially into the future, changes. This leaves a large gap in our lives; all these thoughts and feelings are longer relevant and have to be replaced by other thoughts and feelings.

Yet there are other deaths that take place in life on earth, deaths that are not fully understood. These deaths can happen inside us due to loss; when we change our habits, or when we no longer spend as much time with a friend. All these separations call on us to make adjustments. What isn’t always clear to us is that these adjustments are necessary for evolution to move forward.

This reveals to me how human beings on the earth are unaware of their ability to create the future. They don’t do this by angry protests or by pointing out that someone else could have acted differently; they do it by changing their own thoughts, feelings and actions. This can be hard work; it is so much easier to place the responsibility onto someone else.

Whatever happens in life, viewing all its aspects is important. Why does a person get sick, why do they move to another region, thus severing the close bond you had with them? And why do they die when they could have lived for many more years? And what are the consequences of this? Surely it is obvious that a space is made for something new to enter. We can call it a resurrection, a rising up into a new experience and expression of life. It is like a dormant seed sprouting a shoot in preparation to become a new plant. It is not until this plant produces flowers and fruit that we appreciate all that preceded this event. We certainly don’t expect that a seed immediately flowers – that would be cause for alarm.

The pain of living on the earth washes over me. Not being able to see reality, not being able to see the truth about life and death means that we are unaware of all the souls around us that we have known throughout eternity, and all the spiritual beings waiting to work with us, as well as the spiritual nature of everything. This is like being in a prison cell with no window. I am surprised that more people don’t go mad, yet it speaks to me of the tenacity of the human spirit.

As I consider this I see how important it is for human beings on the earth to experience separateness. This is how they experience themselves as an individual rather than an indistinguishable part of the cosmos. Part of the evolutionary process is to move from indistinguishable to distinguishable. Only in this way can we become aware of the Higher Self during life on earth. The more we can be aware of the Higher Self the greater contribution we can make to evolution.

This is a process of resurrection and every experience on the earth is giving us the opportunity to become aware of it. If we hang on to what we have lost we will never be able to move forward. All sadness, all pain is then seen as a passage towards the future.

Coincidentally I saw this quote yesterday!

Maybe somewhere, someplace deep inside your being, you have undergone important changes while you were sad.” Rainer Maria Rilke

Podcasts :

My first book is always free in most market places (but check the price before downloading)

I AM The Soul's Heartbeat: The Seven I AM Sayings in The Gospel of St John by [Kaine, Kristina]


“Kristina Kaine has distilled from the profound wisdom of masters and of her own considerable experience a guidebook of immense value in pursuing the pearl of great price, the name that no one knows except the one who receives it, the “I Am.” Every human soul stands in need of this name, and our world cries out for the ennoblement of those who make this quest. —Ed Smith, Author : The Burning Bush, The Soul’s Long Journey, David’s Question “What is Man?” Bible and Anthroposophy

Purchase these Reflection series now published in ebooks or paperbacks available from Amazon

IF YOU HAVE AN IPAD, IPHONE OR KINDLE YOU CAN READ THESE REFLECTIONS ANYWHERE. You can even download to your PC or MAC Kindle for PC or Kindle for Cloud Reader

Reflections on the Seven I AM sayings in the Gospel of St John January – September 2003

IAM1-001 I AM the Good Shepherd 5 – 24 June 2003

For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life, that I may take it again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again; this charge I have received from my Father.” John 10:17f

These words speak about the ultimate sacrifice. To sacrifice our life … and to be able to sacrifice requires that you actually have something to sacrifice. This sacrifice is not that of a soldier fighting for his country, or a quasi-martyr suicide bomber. This is the shepherd giving his life for his sheep. This is about the gentle and good shepherd and the pure and innocent sheep.


John 20, Food for the I AM 1 Now on the first day of the week Mary Mag’dalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. 2 So she ran, and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.” 3 Peter then came out with the other disciple, and they went toward the tomb. 4 They both ran, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first; 5 and stooping to look in, he saw the linen cloths lying there, but he did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb; he saw the linen cloths lying, 7 and the napkin, which had been on his head, not lying with the linen cloths but rolled up in a place by itself. 8 Then the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; 9 for as yet they did not know the scripture, that he must rise from the dead. 10 Then the disciples went back to their homes. John 20:1-10 RSV

We know that Christ had to die, but in many of the events surrounding his death choices were made. All through John 18 and 19 we see these choices, especially by Pilate and certainly by the Jews. When an event occurs without choice John writes “this was to fulfil the word”. With this in mind let’s have a look at the morning-after story when Mary and the two disciples visit the tomb. They make many choices.

Let’s say that Christ represents the I AM that must die. The Bible also tells us that a seed must die. A thoughtful person knows that a seed carries within it forces for the future. It is formed by a plant, it actually causes the plant’s death, then it rises again as a totally new plant (not cloned from the old one).


FREE on Amazon – but check for $0 before downloading in some countries.

Free on Smashwords

Reflections of the Seven Christian Initiations in the Gospel of St John, September 2003 – May 2004

IAM2-001 The Mystical Death 2 – 9 May 2004 – We die to live

Read John 19:23- 42 After this Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfil the scripture), “I thirst.” A bowl full of vinegar stood there; so they put a sponge full of the vinegar on hyssop and held it to his mouth. When Jesus had received the vinegar, he said, “It is finished”; and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. 19:28-30

When a person or a thing dies we are told that it no longer exists except as ashes or refuse. Close scrutiny reveals that the opposite is true.

Consider this text in John 12 And Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of man to be glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. John 12:23-24


Buy on Amazon

Reflections on the Eightfold Path of Buddha in the Gospel of St John, June 2004 – December 2004


Read John 5:22-30 The Father judges no one, but has given all judgment to the Son, that all may honor the Son, even as they honor the Father. He who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him. Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears my word and believes him who sent me, has eternal life; he does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. John 5:22-24

As the Father is about the will, the Son is about thinking. Judging is no longer cosmically impelled; our judging now arises through our personal thinking. This thinking must be rigorous. A reason for errors of judgement is that thinking is not carried through to the end. It is so easy to jump off the train of thought prematurely. Early conclusions are so tempting, not to mention the time that they save. Lucifer always encourages us to take the easy way out.


Buy on Amazon

Reflections on the Twelve Disciples using the Gospel of St John, January – December 2005


Nathanael – Two – Imagining

Philip found Nathan’a-el, and said to him, “We have found him of whom Moses in the law and also the prophets wrote, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.” Nathan’a-el said to him, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Philip said to him, “Come and see.” Jesus saw Nathan’a-el coming to him, and said of him, “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile!” Nathan’a-el said to him, “How do you know me?” Jesus answered him, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.” Nathan’a-el answered him, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!” Jesus answered him, “Because I said to you, I saw you under the fig tree, do you believe? You shall see greater things than these.” And he said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of man.” John 1:45-51

Nathanael represents one of the most misunderstood human abilities, our Imagination. In reality, Imagination extends our consciousness into another dimension. It is a spiritual faculty which does not rely on our physical brain nor does it have a mystical element. Through it we penetrate the veil which separates the physical and spiritual worlds. At this point our abstract thinking dissolves and we see into outer forms to the spiritual truth that sustains them. This can begin simply by looking at a plant or tree that droops towards the ground in a sad way, or a flower that lifts its head to smile at the sun. This imagining connects us in new ways with the outer world.


Buy on Amazon

Reflections on the Signs in the Gospel of St John, January – July 2006

Water to Wine – One – Changing Feeling into Thinking


On the third day there was a marriage at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; Jesus also was invited to the marriage, with his disciples. When the wine failed, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “O woman, what have you to do with me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” Now six stone jars were standing there, for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to them, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. He said to them, “Now draw some out, and take it to the steward of the feast.” So they took it. When the steward of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, “Every man serves the good wine first; and when men have drunk freely, then the poor wine; but you have kept the good wine until now.” This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory; and his disciples believed in him. John 2:1-11

This series of Reflections will explore the so called signs in the Gospel of St John. These signs are also associated with miracles performed by Jesus after he was baptised by John the Baptist. If we take the life of Jesus as a blue print for our own spiritual development, we can use events such as these signs and miracles as a barometer of our progress.


Buy on Amazon

Reflections on the Nine Beatitudes using the Gospel of St John, August 2006 – March 2007


1.4 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

We can look at each of the nine beatitudes in terms of the Christ-ening of the nine parts of our being; physical, etheric, astral and then the three soul and three spiritual regions. If we apply the first beatitude to our physical body we will find clues about how our I AM is enlivened in our body.

Our physical body is the most fully developed part of us. The physiology of the human being is a marvel. The way our skeleton, muscles and skin hold and protect our organs in a life giving way is truly wondrous.


Buy on Amazon

Reflections on the Book of Revelation, April 2007 – April 2010

SoulSecretPOD-001The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show to his servants what must soon take place; and he made it known by sending his angel to his servant John, who bore witness to the word of God and to the testimony of Jesus Christ, even to all that he saw. Blessed is he who reads aloud the words of the prophecy, and blessed are those who hear, and who keep what is written therein; for the time is near. Rev 1:1-3

We can read and contemplate the bible in many ways. We should certainly take notice of the literal meaning of its stories. This becomes a most difficult task when we read the Revelation to John. The imagery is shocking, mystifying and bizarre, especially when we place it outside ourselves. It more closely resembles our dream life rather than our waking life.


Buy on Amazon. Note: Kindle version is in two volumes. Paperback one volume.

Reflections on Who is Jesus, What is Christ? May 2010 – October 2016


The Bible can only be fully understood when we have a detailed knowledge of the makeup of the human being. We can only have this understanding through our own personal experience of ourselves which we have applied and tested in our own lives throughout the day. When we are able to experience that we are beings of body, soul and spirit we then come to the point of experiencing ourselves as beings of soul and spirit which occupy our body much like we would occupy a car to transport us here and there.

If we can grasp this truth and actually have a personal experience of it, we can then approach the possibility of our soul and spirit entering repeatedly into different bodies at different times in history. This could be compared to upgrading the model of our car from time to time. There is a passage in the Bible that could support this idea of reincarnation. When the Jews heard that John the Baptist was baptising they sent their representatives to question him about who he was; Christ, Elijah, or the prophet?

And this is the testimony of John, when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, “Who are you?” He confessed, he did not deny, but confessed, “I am not the Christ.” And they asked him, “What then? Are you Elijah?” He said, “I am not.” “Are you the prophet?” And he answered, “No.” They said to him then, “Who are you? Let us have an answer for those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?” Jn 1:19-22

Why would they choose Elijah from all the possibilities? Furthermore, they knew that Elijah was long dead? It is possible that they recognised traits of Elijah’s in the Baptist or perhaps they had the spiritual vision to see who had been in the past. So if he was Elijah in a past life why didn’t he affirm this? To answer this question fully we need to consider in some detail how and why we enter into different bodies at different times throughout history.


Published in 5 volumes, available on Amazon as ebooks or paperbacks. Buy on Amazon