Kristina writes a weekly reflection which places the esoteric teachings into daily life. They are thought provoking and pertinent to 21st Century living. They focus on how we can express our I AM, our True Self, more fully in daily situations.

To Journey Back 45

My life in the spiritual worlds was in many ways similar to my life on earth, but in other ways it was nothing like it. For instance, we don’t realize how much of our attention is focused on looking after our physical body until we no longer have it. Keeping it warm, clean, fed, safe, housed and so on takes a lot of time and attention. Surveying the life I have just left I see that many people did this without a second thought. What if we paused and had a deep sense of gratitude for being warm, clean, fed etc.? If we do this what in fact are we doing? This is a very good question.

Some people might say that God provides everything we need to sustain our body. Does he? I ask. Others say nature sustains us. Both these answers have flaws. If God looks after us why are some people homeless, and if nature looks after us why do some people starve to death. At the same time, I wonder why the simple answer is so attractive.

The problem lies in the reduction of knowledge, everything is reduced to the most easily digestible facts, which in turn blind us to the truth. We could say this is a bad thing, that we should just have faith in God and ignore the details. In fact, being blinded to the truth happens to be a very good thing. It is the difference between being fed knowledge instinctively and having to work it out for ourselves. We only have to look at the way a young child learns to make sense of this. We see the joy on their faces when we stand back and watch them work things out. By observing these small things in earthly life, we find the universal truth about all human life.

Now that I am outside my body and integrating into the spiritual worlds – which is within and around everything – I see how many beings and forces surround and sustain physical life. It is not God nor is it nature; these are but things on the spectrum of all that supports human life in the universe. The time has come to set aside lazy thinking and understand that there are many forces and beings who work in and around us to sustain human life.

Until we do this, people will continue to be homeless, hungry, sad and at war with each other. No amount of wishing this was not the case will resolve these problems. It all begins with each individual recognizing the problem and solving it just as a child does when they learn to live in the physical world after their birth. Even though they lived on the earth previously, they still have to begin again and in this way they provide clues to what we should all be striving for, which is to work out what makes this whole universe tick.

Take food for instance; is it just the soil, water, and sunlight that produce food? Is it as simple as that? Or is there another force behind these three elements which gives life to our food? If there is another force, and we don’t recognize it, are there consequences? How does a child feel if its efforts are not recognized? There you have the answer. When a child is not recognized for its efforts it withers. Does this mean that when we don’t recognize all that is involved in producing food to sustain our bodies therefore it is compromised and so are we. Is this the cause of illness?

On the other hand, illness often gives human beings the opportunity to search for this deeper understanding of life and not take the lazy way to God or to nature. One way is to be thankful for every mouthful of food; thankful for every single person who played a role in bringing the food to our mouths, as well as all the spiritual forces and beings at work behind this.

When there is not enough rain to water the crops do we think of the spiritual beings whose task it is to monitor the combination of oxygen and hydrogen required to produce rain? Do these beings shrivel up because we ignore them? What would it do for the quality of our food if we were to acknowledge every single effort that goes into producing the food that sustains our life on earth?

This, in turn, gives us the opportunity to connect with our Higher Self and to love each and every being – human or spiritual – in the highest way possible. This is the kind of gratitude required if we are to understand the mystery of life in the universe. Then we can look positively on every element enabling our life, and we understand the effect of giving thanks for, rather than criticizing, whatever happens. Not understanding this has a destructive effect, understanding it leads us to a higher level of life while having a life-giving effect on the whole universe.

Volume 1 of this series is available as an ebook or paperback.


To Journey Back 46

The continuing journey of a deceased person looking back through their life in reverse.

The difference between being fully conscious on the earth and fully conscious in the spiritual worlds is a matter for deep consideration. On the earth we can hide our thoughts and feelings and we can misrepresent the truth in so many different ways. In the spiritual worlds nothing is hidden. The task that lies ahead for every human being is to have an open consciousness during earthly life. This means that as we begin to live with truth at the same time we must have the courage to face the shame of being tempted to be untruthful.

Living on the earth with full disclosure is not easy because facing the truth has complications for all concerned. We know that if we speak the truth we can cause great damage. Yet, if our thoughts are truthful – about ourselves as much as others – and then we find a way to speak that is free of deception, we will make a great contribution to the other person’s life, to our own life, and to the universe. When I say universe I mean everything around us; society, nature, spiritual beings, the planets and stars and all the beings contained in them. It is for this reason that the development of our consciousness is a slow and careful process. We have to work out what truthfulness is, and often it isn’t what we think it is.

Life on earth pulls us ahead of ourselves constantly, to be first, to be the winner, is ingrained. Yet, if our whole life is devoted to taking just one small step, we can do far more good than racing ahead and leaving the rest behind. To find ways of living a truthful life is the greatest preparation for living in the spiritual worlds after death. The more conscious we are in the spiritual worlds after death, the greater will be our contribution to the evolution of mankind and everything connected to that. Therefore smallest step towards being more conscious is of greater significance than what is considered to be the highest earthly achievement.

Yet how often do people feel insignificant when they hear of the great achievements of others? We need to feel satisfied with our small steps, when they are made with great commitment they are incredibly significant, as we will see after we die.

The strange thing about these small steps is that they feel like death, it feels like a murder has taken place in our own consciousness. This is because we have to kill the instincts in our soul and in this way make room for truth. We are deterred from this because of the influences around us mesmerizing us to act in certain ways which often misrepresent the reality. We can call this group consciousness. We then have to kill the instincts that arise in the group and independently reproduce new thoughts and feelings more closely connected with truth. We can compare it with the life cycle of a plant; it produces fruit according to the prevailing weather and then it dies to begin the cycle again when the conditions are conducive. This is exactly how things take place in our soul. If we can become much more conscious of this we will produce abundant fruit.

Who will be the judge of the quality of the fruit is a good question. Certainly not ourselves alone, and perhaps the fruit will not be evident until we die, or in some distant incarnation. What matters most is that we stick to being truthful, careful not to be hurtful, and to be satisfied that we have utmost commitment to the task.

I could see that this commitment to truth was the underlying thread in my relationship with my friends. They were very aware of this which left them struggling to understand why I had been killed. If we live our lives committed to being truthful, even if we don’t express this openly, those around us can feel uneasy.

This, in turn, requires great strength of character, the kind of strength that is developed in a measured way. At the same time we need to be aware that when the truth lives in our consciousness it streams out from us in an unspoken way. We become like truth beacons which can be disquieting. Those who are not working at becoming more conscious can become resentful. They don’t realize that the problem lies within them; they find relief by transferring the cause of their discomfort to others.

We then need to realize that we are causing their reaction and not feel offended by what they say or do. This too is a kind of murder which can develop into a two-way activity if we are not strong enough or conscious enough. Even the slightest inner feeling of resentment can weaken us. On the other hand, if we are aware of what is taking place it is confirmation that we are achieving our goal.

Volume 1 now available on Amazon 

To Journey Back: From Death to Life

If you are enjoying this new series I would be grateful if you could write a small review on Amazon – it helps to bring this book to the attention of more readers.


“Kristina Kaine has distilled from the profound wisdom of masters and of her own considerable experience a guidebook of immense value in pursuing the pearl of great price, the name that no one knows except the one who receives it, the “I Am.” Every human soul stands in need of this name, and our world cries out for the ennoblement of those who make this quest. —Ed Smith, Author : The Burning Bush, The Soul’s Long Journey, David’s Question “What is Man?” Bible and Anthroposophy

Purchase these Reflection series now published in ebooks or paperbacks available from Amazon

IF YOU HAVE AN IPAD, IPHONE OR KINDLE YOU CAN READ THESE REFLECTIONS ANYWHERE. You can even download to your PC or MAC Kindle for PC or Kindle for Cloud Reader

Reflections on the Seven I AM sayings in the Gospel of St John January – September 2003

IAM1-001 I AM the Good Shepherd 5 – 24 June 2003

For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life, that I may take it again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again; this charge I have received from my Father.” John 10:17f

These words speak about the ultimate sacrifice. To sacrifice our life … and to be able to sacrifice requires that you actually have something to sacrifice. This sacrifice is not that of a soldier fighting for his country, or a quasi-martyr suicide bomber. This is the shepherd giving his life for his sheep. This is about the gentle and good shepherd and the pure and innocent sheep.


John 20, Food for the I AM 1 Now on the first day of the week Mary Mag’dalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. 2 So she ran, and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.” 3 Peter then came out with the other disciple, and they went toward the tomb. 4 They both ran, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first; 5 and stooping to look in, he saw the linen cloths lying there, but he did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb; he saw the linen cloths lying, 7 and the napkin, which had been on his head, not lying with the linen cloths but rolled up in a place by itself. 8 Then the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; 9 for as yet they did not know the scripture, that he must rise from the dead. 10 Then the disciples went back to their homes. John 20:1-10 RSV

We know that Christ had to die, but in many of the events surrounding his death choices were made. All through John 18 and 19 we see these choices, especially by Pilate and certainly by the Jews. When an event occurs without choice John writes “this was to fulfil the word”. With this in mind let’s have a look at the morning-after story when Mary and the two disciples visit the tomb. They make many choices.

Let’s say that Christ represents the I AM that must die. The Bible also tells us that a seed must die. A thoughtful person knows that a seed carries within it forces for the future. It is formed by a plant, it actually causes the plant’s death, then it rises again as a totally new plant (not cloned from the old one).


Buy on Amazon

Free sample available on Smashwords

Reflections of the Seven Christian Initiations in the Gospel of St John, September 2003 – May 2004

IAM2-001 The Mystical Death 2 – 9 May 2004 – We die to live

Read John 19:23- 42 After this Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfil the scripture), “I thirst.” A bowl full of vinegar stood there; so they put a sponge full of the vinegar on hyssop and held it to his mouth. When Jesus had received the vinegar, he said, “It is finished”; and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. 19:28-30

When a person or a thing dies we are told that it no longer exists except as ashes or refuse. Close scrutiny reveals that the opposite is true.

Consider this text in John 12 And Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of man to be glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. John 12:23-24


Buy on Amazon

Reflections on the Eightfold Path of Buddha in the Gospel of St John, June 2004 – December 2004


Read John 5:22-30 The Father judges no one, but has given all judgment to the Son, that all may honor the Son, even as they honor the Father. He who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him. Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears my word and believes him who sent me, has eternal life; he does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. John 5:22-24

As the Father is about the will, the Son is about thinking. Judging is no longer cosmically impelled; our judging now arises through our personal thinking. This thinking must be rigorous. A reason for errors of judgement is that thinking is not carried through to the end. It is so easy to jump off the train of thought prematurely. Early conclusions are so tempting, not to mention the time that they save. Lucifer always encourages us to take the easy way out.


Buy on Amazon

Reflections on the Twelve Disciples using the Gospel of St John, January – December 2005


Nathanael – Two – Imagining

Philip found Nathan’a-el, and said to him, “We have found him of whom Moses in the law and also the prophets wrote, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.” Nathan’a-el said to him, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Philip said to him, “Come and see.” Jesus saw Nathan’a-el coming to him, and said of him, “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile!” Nathan’a-el said to him, “How do you know me?” Jesus answered him, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.” Nathan’a-el answered him, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!” Jesus answered him, “Because I said to you, I saw you under the fig tree, do you believe? You shall see greater things than these.” And he said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of man.” John 1:45-51

Nathanael represents one of the most misunderstood human abilities, our Imagination. In reality, Imagination extends our consciousness into another dimension. It is a spiritual faculty which does not rely on our physical brain nor does it have a mystical element. Through it we penetrate the veil which separates the physical and spiritual worlds. At this point our abstract thinking dissolves and we see into outer forms to the spiritual truth that sustains them. This can begin simply by looking at a plant or tree that droops towards the ground in a sad way, or a flower that lifts its head to smile at the sun. This imagining connects us in new ways with the outer world.


Buy on Amazon

Reflections on the Signs in the Gospel of St John, January – July 2006

Water to Wine – One – Changing Feeling into Thinking


On the third day there was a marriage at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; Jesus also was invited to the marriage, with his disciples. When the wine failed, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “O woman, what have you to do with me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” Now six stone jars were standing there, for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to them, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. He said to them, “Now draw some out, and take it to the steward of the feast.” So they took it. When the steward of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, “Every man serves the good wine first; and when men have drunk freely, then the poor wine; but you have kept the good wine until now.” This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory; and his disciples believed in him. John 2:1-11

This series of Reflections will explore the so called signs in the Gospel of St John. These signs are also associated with miracles performed by Jesus after he was baptised by John the Baptist. If we take the life of Jesus as a blue print for our own spiritual development, we can use events such as these signs and miracles as a barometer of our progress.


Buy on Amazon

Reflections on the Nine Beatitudes using the Gospel of St John, August 2006 – March 2007


1.4 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

We can look at each of the nine beatitudes in terms of the Christ-ening of the nine parts of our being; physical, etheric, astral and then the three soul and three spiritual regions. If we apply the first beatitude to our physical body we will find clues about how our I AM is enlivened in our body.

Our physical body is the most fully developed part of us. The physiology of the human being is a marvel. The way our skeleton, muscles and skin hold and protect our organs in a life giving way is truly wondrous.


Buy on Amazon

Reflections on the Book of Revelation, April 2007 – April 2010

SoulSecretPOD-001The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show to his servants what must soon take place; and he made it known by sending his angel to his servant John, who bore witness to the word of God and to the testimony of Jesus Christ, even to all that he saw. Blessed is he who reads aloud the words of the prophecy, and blessed are those who hear, and who keep what is written therein; for the time is near. Rev 1:1-3

We can read and contemplate the bible in many ways. We should certainly take notice of the literal meaning of its stories. This becomes a most difficult task when we read the Revelation to John. The imagery is shocking, mystifying and bizarre, especially when we place it outside ourselves. It more closely resembles our dream life rather than our waking life.


Buy on Amazon. Note: Kindle version is in two volumes. Paperback one volume.

Reflections on Who is Jesus, What is Christ? May 2010 – October 2016


The Bible can only be fully understood when we have a detailed knowledge of the makeup of the human being. We can only have this understanding through our own personal experience of ourselves which we have applied and tested in our own lives throughout the day. When we are able to experience that we are beings of body, soul and spirit we then come to the point of experiencing ourselves as beings of soul and spirit which occupy our body much like we would occupy a car to transport us here and there.

If we can grasp this truth and actually have a personal experience of it, we can then approach the possibility of our soul and spirit entering repeatedly into different bodies at different times in history. This could be compared to upgrading the model of our car from time to time. There is a passage in the Bible that could support this idea of reincarnation. When the Jews heard that John the Baptist was baptising they sent their representatives to question him about who he was; Christ, Elijah, or the prophet?

And this is the testimony of John, when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, “Who are you?” He confessed, he did not deny, but confessed, “I am not the Christ.” And they asked him, “What then? Are you Elijah?” He said, “I am not.” “Are you the prophet?” And he answered, “No.” They said to him then, “Who are you? Let us have an answer for those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?” Jn 1:19-22

Why would they choose Elijah from all the possibilities? Furthermore, they knew that Elijah was long dead? It is possible that they recognised traits of Elijah’s in the Baptist or perhaps they had the spiritual vision to see who had been in the past. So if he was Elijah in a past life why didn’t he affirm this? To answer this question fully we need to consider in some detail how and why we enter into different bodies at different times throughout history.


Published in 5 volumes, available on Amazon as ebooks or paperbacks. Buy on Amazon