Kristina writes a weekly reflection which places the esoteric teachings into daily life. They are thought provoking and pertinent to 21st Century living. They focus on how we can express our I AM, our True Self, more fully in daily situations.

To Journey Back 67

As I continue to think of the harmony I experienced while with my friends on the earth, I see that the importance of inner harmony is the main concern for humanity now and into the future. The responsibility for creating and maintaining inner harmony lies with each individual.

Those who play musical instruments understand this better than most. It is a shame that not everyone learns to play a musical instrument early in life. Entering into the nature of the instrument and making harmonic tones is very similar to the way we live our lives on the earth. Think of someone playing a three stringed lute; this lute can represent our soul while the musician is our Higher Self. We know that a lute cannot play itself, yet we can think our soul operates on its own. Then, as we begin to let our Higher Self work into our soul, many inharmonious notes are played. This is part of the process.

If each person is mindful of this they would realize that only through our Higher Self can we contribute to the harmony of the world. This harmony begins within each individual and flows out to the community, and then colors the whole universe. Yet, how often do we look to others, especially leaders of communities and nations, to create the harmony we think is needed?

What is not realized is that we have created the world we live in during our past lives; this cannot be changed, it is as if carved in stone. What we can change is the future in which we will live in our next incarnations. We do this by monitoring our feelings, thoughts and will impulses now. These are the three strings of the lute.

This leads to a question we can ask ourselves: How can we immobilize those feelings and thoughts that create inner discord? They move around in our soul every time interactions with the outside world disturb us. I saw this everywhere in my last life. My friends would become agitated by injustices they saw around them and would ask me how they could do something about it. My response was for them to pin their agitation to the ground. This sounds easy but it is quite challenging.

Think about the strong feelings that arise from a disagreement with another person. The feelings go round and round in your soul as you rethink all aspects of the interaction, over and over again. In this way you continually breathe life into the event. If you immobilize the thoughts and feelings, and look at the event from a distance, you have a much better chance of understanding it. These are the two ways of judging a situation; one lifts us up, and the other imprisons us.

A great panorama forms before me of all those people who managed to free themselves of the hurt and annoyance of their karma. Some had only managed to do it in small ways but that still qualified them to be in community with all those who had allowed perceived injustices to die in their soul. This meant that they were able to rise up beyond their soul into their spirit and objectively take a different course. It was as if they were lifted above the earth while they still lived on it.

This is the purpose of life on earth. Conquering ourselves, pinning down those incessant feelings that lead us to look outside ourselves, blaming others, demanding that others act when all the while we are to blame and we are the only ones who can change the way we feel and think.

To do this requires a strong will. This is where we need to focus our attention. In fact, humanity has reached the point where they must become aware of all the ways they use their will – or not by allowing their feelings to rule. When feelings rule they take us to places that make life very uncomfortable. Now, this is ok as long as we quickly bring our will into play – and that is exactly how we strengthen our will. Then we won’t react to situations that displease us.

The other thing that comes to me is the reason for reactions. We can blame a person for being angry, but in fact it might be the case that we draw the anger out in them. We are not the same person to each person in our lives. Someone can be angry with us and never show their anger to others. The reason will be found in the relationship we had with them in a past life. It is in this way that karma is our teacher.

Then we have the opportunity to lift ourselves up, to kill the cause that was born in the past, and to create new harmonious relationships for the future. Then we each play an important role in creating a future that enables rather than disables human life.

To Journey Back 68

The continuing journey of a deceased person looking back through their life in reverse.

Contemplating the impact of karma on the lives of those living on the earth made me think again about the core reason for repeatedly living on the earth. The only reason was to give every human being the opportunity to fully understand the nature of their Higher Self. The thing is, when we live on the earth, the consciousness we need to exist there hides the Higher Self from us. The Higher Self makes no sense to the earthly mind.

This means that any attempt to explain the Higher Self doesn’t work. I know this because I consistently tried to reveal it during my life. It was like trying to give people an experience of the atmosphere of a building by showing them the plan before it was built.

This raises some questions. Why do we need to experience our Higher Self on the earth, why can’t we just do that in the spiritual worlds? And, if we are meant to experience our Higher Self on the earth, why was it so hard?

It all comes back to the idea that we have to give birth to ourselves. We had to separate from the whole and become an individual, then, we had to discover how the individual is connected to the whole without being swallowed up in it. The important part of this process was the effort we put in. Those who put in the most effort, and put it in earlier than others, strode ahead. This was not to be regarded as winners, but so that they could lead everyone forward by example. These leaders are not always visible; they work quietly in the background. Ego cannot be a part of this process.

I paused to think about what takes place within a person who achieves ahead of the rest. They have flowered, produced a seed, which then dies, and a new plant sprouts in its place. It is helpful to think about what dies within us because in this way we become aware of what we are drawn to hang onto. Then we might wonder why we want to hang onto things instead of embracing a new cycle of growth. Just think of a vegetable or a fruit that hangs onto part of last season’s growth. Would we eat that? Or throw it away?

The force of our Higher Self is like the growth force of a seed. It is the force that draws us to the earth. Like a seed it germinates in the darkness and carries us through the stages of life, ebbing and flowing, as we sprout and flower, die, and sprout again. Our task is to try and identify this germinating process in our lives. It can most easily be seen in the physical body, but it can also be seen in the soul and the spirit. We can think of the soul as the seed pod and hidden deep within it is the kernel of our Higher Self. It is an invisible stream of energy ready to burst forth as we become conscious of the activity of our soul; the way our intention, feeling, and thought work in our consciousness.

What keeps the force of our Higher Self at bay? Sympathy and antipathy does. As long as we are pulled to and fro in our soul, liking some things, disliking others, we are trapped. These are the seeds that never shoot. We have to find ways to become objective, to develop the ability to observe and to place things into a broader perspective. We can only do this if we factor in the consequences of our past lives. So it is not just our inability to experience the presence of our Higher Self in our soul life, but also our inability to understand the effects of our deeds in past lives on our present life. This can be very troubling and we need to be very committed to the process.

What we don’t really understand is the way in which we serve our Higher Self. Each of our incarnations is a servant to a master we don’t see, don’t know and, what is more, we have to guess what it wants in order to serve it. Do we serve the same meal today that we served yesterday? Do we serve food that it dislikes? Do we forget to serve it a drink?

While I wondered about these things, looking for better ways to express them, I saw the angels that gather around those who were fertilizing the seed hidden deep within them. These angels devote themselves to humanity; as encouraging spectators they are always ready to rise to their feet and cheer. Until human beings are able to stand in their Higher Self they are guarded by angels, like a parent watching over an infant. When a human being gains their independence these angels can get on with other matters. It is astounding to see the level of support each human being receives to enable them to give birth, stage by stage, to the Higher Self so that they become self-born.

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“Kristina Kaine has distilled from the profound wisdom of masters and of her own considerable experience a guidebook of immense value in pursuing the pearl of great price, the name that no one knows except the one who receives it, the “I Am.” Every human soul stands in need of this name, and our world cries out for the ennoblement of those who make this quest. —Ed Smith, Author : The Burning Bush, The Soul’s Long Journey, David’s Question “What is Man?” Bible and Anthroposophy

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Reflections on the Seven I AM sayings in the Gospel of St John January – September 2003

IAM1-001 I AM the Good Shepherd 5 – 24 June 2003

For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life, that I may take it again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again; this charge I have received from my Father.” John 10:17f

These words speak about the ultimate sacrifice. To sacrifice our life … and to be able to sacrifice requires that you actually have something to sacrifice. This sacrifice is not that of a soldier fighting for his country, or a quasi-martyr suicide bomber. This is the shepherd giving his life for his sheep. This is about the gentle and good shepherd and the pure and innocent sheep.


John 20, Food for the I AM 1 Now on the first day of the week Mary Mag’dalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. 2 So she ran, and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.” 3 Peter then came out with the other disciple, and they went toward the tomb. 4 They both ran, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first; 5 and stooping to look in, he saw the linen cloths lying there, but he did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb; he saw the linen cloths lying, 7 and the napkin, which had been on his head, not lying with the linen cloths but rolled up in a place by itself. 8 Then the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; 9 for as yet they did not know the scripture, that he must rise from the dead. 10 Then the disciples went back to their homes. John 20:1-10 RSV

We know that Christ had to die, but in many of the events surrounding his death choices were made. All through John 18 and 19 we see these choices, especially by Pilate and certainly by the Jews. When an event occurs without choice John writes “this was to fulfil the word”. With this in mind let’s have a look at the morning-after story when Mary and the two disciples visit the tomb. They make many choices.

Let’s say that Christ represents the I AM that must die. The Bible also tells us that a seed must die. A thoughtful person knows that a seed carries within it forces for the future. It is formed by a plant, it actually causes the plant’s death, then it rises again as a totally new plant (not cloned from the old one).


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Reflections of the Seven Christian Initiations in the Gospel of St John, September 2003 – May 2004

IAM2-001 The Mystical Death 2 – 9 May 2004 – We die to live

Read John 19:23- 42 After this Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfil the scripture), “I thirst.” A bowl full of vinegar stood there; so they put a sponge full of the vinegar on hyssop and held it to his mouth. When Jesus had received the vinegar, he said, “It is finished”; and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. 19:28-30

When a person or a thing dies we are told that it no longer exists except as ashes or refuse. Close scrutiny reveals that the opposite is true.

Consider this text in John 12 And Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of man to be glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. John 12:23-24


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Reflections on the Eightfold Path of Buddha in the Gospel of St John, June 2004 – December 2004


Read John 5:22-30 The Father judges no one, but has given all judgment to the Son, that all may honor the Son, even as they honor the Father. He who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him. Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears my word and believes him who sent me, has eternal life; he does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. John 5:22-24

As the Father is about the will, the Son is about thinking. Judging is no longer cosmically impelled; our judging now arises through our personal thinking. This thinking must be rigorous. A reason for errors of judgement is that thinking is not carried through to the end. It is so easy to jump off the train of thought prematurely. Early conclusions are so tempting, not to mention the time that they save. Lucifer always encourages us to take the easy way out.


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Reflections on the Twelve Disciples using the Gospel of St John, January – December 2005


Nathanael – Two – Imagining

Philip found Nathan’a-el, and said to him, “We have found him of whom Moses in the law and also the prophets wrote, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.” Nathan’a-el said to him, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Philip said to him, “Come and see.” Jesus saw Nathan’a-el coming to him, and said of him, “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile!” Nathan’a-el said to him, “How do you know me?” Jesus answered him, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.” Nathan’a-el answered him, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!” Jesus answered him, “Because I said to you, I saw you under the fig tree, do you believe? You shall see greater things than these.” And he said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of man.” John 1:45-51

Nathanael represents one of the most misunderstood human abilities, our Imagination. In reality, Imagination extends our consciousness into another dimension. It is a spiritual faculty which does not rely on our physical brain nor does it have a mystical element. Through it we penetrate the veil which separates the physical and spiritual worlds. At this point our abstract thinking dissolves and we see into outer forms to the spiritual truth that sustains them. This can begin simply by looking at a plant or tree that droops towards the ground in a sad way, or a flower that lifts its head to smile at the sun. This imagining connects us in new ways with the outer world.


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Reflections on the Signs in the Gospel of St John, January – July 2006

Water to Wine – One – Changing Feeling into Thinking


On the third day there was a marriage at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; Jesus also was invited to the marriage, with his disciples. When the wine failed, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “O woman, what have you to do with me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” Now six stone jars were standing there, for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to them, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. He said to them, “Now draw some out, and take it to the steward of the feast.” So they took it. When the steward of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, “Every man serves the good wine first; and when men have drunk freely, then the poor wine; but you have kept the good wine until now.” This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory; and his disciples believed in him. John 2:1-11

This series of Reflections will explore the so called signs in the Gospel of St John. These signs are also associated with miracles performed by Jesus after he was baptised by John the Baptist. If we take the life of Jesus as a blue print for our own spiritual development, we can use events such as these signs and miracles as a barometer of our progress.


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Reflections on the Nine Beatitudes using the Gospel of St John, August 2006 – March 2007


1.4 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

We can look at each of the nine beatitudes in terms of the Christ-ening of the nine parts of our being; physical, etheric, astral and then the three soul and three spiritual regions. If we apply the first beatitude to our physical body we will find clues about how our I AM is enlivened in our body.

Our physical body is the most fully developed part of us. The physiology of the human being is a marvel. The way our skeleton, muscles and skin hold and protect our organs in a life giving way is truly wondrous.


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Reflections on the Book of Revelation, April 2007 – April 2010

SoulSecretPOD-001The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show to his servants what must soon take place; and he made it known by sending his angel to his servant John, who bore witness to the word of God and to the testimony of Jesus Christ, even to all that he saw. Blessed is he who reads aloud the words of the prophecy, and blessed are those who hear, and who keep what is written therein; for the time is near. Rev 1:1-3

We can read and contemplate the bible in many ways. We should certainly take notice of the literal meaning of its stories. This becomes a most difficult task when we read the Revelation to John. The imagery is shocking, mystifying and bizarre, especially when we place it outside ourselves. It more closely resembles our dream life rather than our waking life.


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Reflections on Who is Jesus, What is Christ? May 2010 – October 2016


The Bible can only be fully understood when we have a detailed knowledge of the makeup of the human being. We can only have this understanding through our own personal experience of ourselves which we have applied and tested in our own lives throughout the day. When we are able to experience that we are beings of body, soul and spirit we then come to the point of experiencing ourselves as beings of soul and spirit which occupy our body much like we would occupy a car to transport us here and there.

If we can grasp this truth and actually have a personal experience of it, we can then approach the possibility of our soul and spirit entering repeatedly into different bodies at different times in history. This could be compared to upgrading the model of our car from time to time. There is a passage in the Bible that could support this idea of reincarnation. When the Jews heard that John the Baptist was baptising they sent their representatives to question him about who he was; Christ, Elijah, or the prophet?

And this is the testimony of John, when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, “Who are you?” He confessed, he did not deny, but confessed, “I am not the Christ.” And they asked him, “What then? Are you Elijah?” He said, “I am not.” “Are you the prophet?” And he answered, “No.” They said to him then, “Who are you? Let us have an answer for those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?” Jn 1:19-22

Why would they choose Elijah from all the possibilities? Furthermore, they knew that Elijah was long dead? It is possible that they recognised traits of Elijah’s in the Baptist or perhaps they had the spiritual vision to see who had been in the past. So if he was Elijah in a past life why didn’t he affirm this? To answer this question fully we need to consider in some detail how and why we enter into different bodies at different times throughout history.


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